Shi Ying
Shi Ying came to the Netherlands from China with her parents in 2015. As Christians they were no longer safe and had to flee.
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The day my eldest son finished college, I knew I had to get my family out of Syria. If we had stayed, he would have been forced to become a soldier for Assad. I couldn’t let this happen to my son, so my husband, our six children and I fled to Turkey. We thought it would be maybe a few months, possibly a year, until everything would calm down in Syria and we could go back to our home. We stayed there for three years.
I didn’t even know what ‘Netherlands’ meant. But I knew that any place was better than Turkey.
One of my friends in Turkey, a fellow teacher, told me that the United Nations was helping Syrians relocate, and that my family should consider applying. After many appointments in Ankara with the UN refugee agency, I received a phone call. The woman asked, ‘do you want to go to the Netherlands?’. I replied ‘yes’ immediately. No questions asked. I didn’t even know what ‘Netherlands’ meant. But I knew that any place was better than Turkey. I knew this was our gateway to the world.
When we finally arrived in the Netherlands, my first thought was, ‘why did I not come here when I was a child?’. I had spent all my life in a country that doesn’t respect or give individuals any voice. In Syria, you can only say ‘yes’ or ‘okay’. But here in the Netherlands, you can say both ‘yes’ and ‘no’. You can give your opinion, and it matters.
The Netherlands has given beautiful opportunities to my children. They all study and work. They all have cars. They are polite people with bright eyes. I am so proud of them.
I had to become very strong to protect my family.
Our relocation to the Netherlands brought new challenges. When we first moved here, language was our first obstacle. I couldn’t continue teaching English because my Dutch was not good enough.
Yet, these difficulties are small compared to the blessing of stability that we have here. Before, in Syria, I had to move all the time. My (ex-)husband was a pilot, and during the war, the soldiers of Assad came to our home and took him to prison. He was there for ten months. I had to move my family from place to place in order to stay safe – ten to twelve times while my husband was in prison. It was hard to hope for his return, as most people who go to prison do not come out. I had to become very strong to protect my family.
When my husband was released, he didn’t know our address. He found a family friend who knew where we were and gave him my phone number. When he called, and said ‘hello’, I didn’t believe it was him. I said, ‘speak again’. When he did, I fell on the ground.
At times it was difficult to help my children adapt to life here by myself.
We were so happy when he came home. He couldn’t believe we were all alive and safe. But he was traumatized when he came out of prison. He was free but his mind was not. He didn’t follow us to the Netherlands. Although it was painful, it was the right decision for me and my children.
This meant that I had to become both a mother and a father to my children. I didn’t want them to feel that there was a hole in their heart, something missing. At times it was difficult to help my children adapt to life here by myself. But God helped me, it was not only my strength.
Nobody knows this about me, but through all of this, I lost myself a little. I have forgotten who I am. I gave all my life to my family. Once they are all married, and have their own lives, maybe I will come back to my own.
Now, the Netherlands is really our home and we are very happy here. We lost Syria but we found the Netherlands.
Interview: Phoebe Parsons
Editing: Phoebe Parsons, Joost Backer & Izzy Bauman
Photography: Esther Frank
